As virtually all things eventually must come to an end, I had to do something about that fingernail and it’s pretty colours.
The blood underneath the nail was causing a lot of pressure, resulting in a rather swollen finger. Not to mention, the skin was feeling uncomfortably (read: painfully) tight. So what does one do in this situation? Well, you have to relieve the pressure. Yes, you can treat this yourself, and yes, it will feel
much better afterwards.
Precautions
While this treatment may sound like it came from a torture scene in a horror movie, it can feel like torture —
if not done properly! Follow the instructions, however, and it should actually be a painless — and pain-relieving — procedure.
Do not follow these instructions
if:
- you don’t feel a lot of pressure or see swelling of the finger around the nail
- your finger is deformed from the smashing (in this case, definitely see a doctor)
- the damage is not just limited to the end of your finger or involves a significant cut (also, see a doctor)
- your finger has not been smashed
- you’re a wimp, or you’re not sure if you’re a wimp.
Note: If you’re a minor, it’s smart to have parental supervision before following these instructions. Also, I take no responsibility if you do something stupid in the course of relieving your finger(s) of pressure from blood
under the nail.
In other words, proceed at your own risk.
Supplies
You’ll need a few important tools to succeed at this. Here’s the list:
- medium-sized metal paper clip
- pliers (for holding the paper clip)
- pen (I prefer Sharpie)
- gas burner
- matches or a lighter (if the burner is not self-lighting), and
- something (preferably clean) to wipe up the blood.
Optionally, I recommend that you have a few assistants, especially if this is your first time doing this procedure:
- One steady-handed and strong-stomached person. This is particularly helpful if you’re not feeling up to doing it yourself, as you may be a little queasy or weak from the idea, or just not feeling so hot in general.
- If necessary, one or two more people to hold you down.
Preparation
It’s probably a good idea for everyone involved to wash their hands with soap and water, if available, beforehand. Next, identify the area of the fingernail that appears to have the most blood trapped underneath, and mark the center of the area with a dot, using the pen.
Step 1: Straighten the paper clip
Un-bend the paper clip so you have about a 2 or 3 inch straight section, leaving one end still bent. Any longer than that makes accuracy more difficult.
Step 2: Heat up the paper clip
Use the pliers to hold the paper clip on the section that is still bent, for the best grip. Over the gas flame, heat the tip of the straightened end until it is red-hot. This is important! Unless you’re a masochist,
it must be red-hot.
Step 3: Insert red hot paper clip into fingernail
Using the dot you made with the pen as your target, gently push the red-hot tip of the paper clip through the nail. It will quickly melt right through - don’t go deeper than a millimeter or so. Again, if it’s not red-hot, you will have to force it, and trust me, that doesn’t feel so great.
Warning: due to the pressure, you may experience some brief squirting action. I had a single thread-thin string of liquid red shoot about 2 meters. Sorry, no camera
footage -- you’ll just have to believe me on that one.
Step 4: Press out extra blood
Optional but recommended: After you create the hole, squeeze the sides of the finger next to the affected area to remove any excess trapped fluid. This should extend the time it takes before it’s necessary to repeat the procedure up to maybe a day or two.
Here’s the video, so you can see it all in action. Well, steps 3 and 4 anyway. It’s even formatted for your video-enabled iPod so you can gross out your friends and family!
Step 5: Clean up.
Naturally.
Resources and more info
Vandenberg Air Force Base 30th Medical Group Self Care Guide
(Update: original page is missing or moved, so now linking to the archived version at the Wayback Machine)
http://www.vandenberg.af.mil/~MDG/selfCare/chap3/s16.htmLabels: Thailand, travel